A Shopping Tale Of EPIC Proportions!
by kittyponnumber42
Summary: Sequel to A Party NOT To Be Remembered. L takes the gang shopping, mostly to show off his mad DDR skills and defeat Light in a light-saber duel. But will Light be defeated in more ways than one? And what does this have to with windows? Read and see!


Sequel to A Party NOT To Be Remembered. Again, thanks to SasukeXNaruto-Lover- for the title idea. This is the longest fic in the series, but it's worth the length. I judge fans by the amount of reviews, so make me feel loved!!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor Pritkin, Cassie or anything involved with Karen Chance...geez, I can barely afford to buy a new sketchbook!!**

A Shopping Tale of EPIC Proportions!!

Y'know, L always seems to know what's going to happen. But then again, a genius like him would probably know how to screw with destiny.

Anyway, I hadn't been another Kira victim that night after Lawliet's birthday. That was good, because in the last month and a half, Matsuda and I had gone out at least once a week. It was still kind of odd, since neither of us had dated since high school.

So, getting back on topic, it was another Sunday evening when L called again. Eve was at my apartment and we were watching a Star War's marathon on TV. Luckily, when the phone rang the commercials had just come on.

"Moshi moshi..." I droned, hoping I wouldn't have to say no to more Korean orphans. "Hello. Is Sera there?" L asked, not nearly as nervous as the last time. Well, wasn't _this_ creepy! "Yeah, what's up?" Eve gave me a 'Who is it?' look. I made the letter L with my fingers.

"Well, yesterday we apprehended the third Kira Higuchi." "Yeah, I heard about that. Nice job setting him up like that." I was hoping he'd get to the point soon. Episode 3 would be back on any minute! "Thank you...Anyway, I still haven't dropped my suspicions of Light. This is not nearly over yet." L's tone turned dead serious. "I agree." There's no _way_ Creepy-Light-Man(as he came to be known) was ever going to get off my suspicious peoples list.

"But still, I..." L paused, gauging how much he should tell me. Just get it out already, I thought. "...Well, I don't think I'm going to live much longer."

I think I stopped breathing for a second.

"Sera?" Ryuzaki cautioned. "Sorry..." I finally spluttered out. "That caught me off guard. Why the hell would you think that?!" L didn't answer right away. "I have my reasons..." I huffed in exasperation. He was going to die alright. When I would wring his neck for being so utterly impossible. "On a happier note, though, I thought I'd take everyone shopping!"

"Shopping?"

"Shopping."

I raised an eyebrow. "_Shopping_??" To my complete amazement, L laughed. "Yeah, they just finished a huge 4-floor mall near my hotel. And I'm not exactly broke, you know." My jaw was slowly dropping, and I pushed it back into place. "Oookay then. Who's coming?" "You can bring Eve and Matsuda-san if you like. Mello and Near are in town, so they'll be showing up. Watari will be there of course, and even though I know you don't like him, Light must be there. I think he's bringing his girlfriend, Misa Amane." He disclosed nonchalantly.

"_The_ Misa Amane? The one you thought was the second Kira?" I spouted. Eve gave me an incredulous look, then gestured that Revenge of the Sith was back on. "I still do." L firmly clarified. "I see. So when is this happening?" "Watari and I will pick you up Saturday at noon." "Kizay-kizay!" I clucked. Then I got serious. "And Lawliet..." "Yes Sera?" "You're not gonna die, hm? You're too smart." L sighed. "We'll see..."

Saturday came a lot faster than I wanted it too. Sure, I relished the thought of getting tons of unnecessary knick-knacks and not having to pay for it, but even so, when I woke up that morning, I spent an hour or so just laying in bed. The ceiling is actually _extremely_ fascinating after a while.

I wasn't really sure if I was supposed to bring anything, so I just made sure to grab my Zen and my ever so loyal bear-bag Baroqueheat. Matsuda showed up around 11 and planted one of his nervous, less-than-one-second long pecks on my lips. To my amusement and his utter shock, it suddenly decided to last about a second longer.

A while later, Eve and her fiancée showed up. He had longish brown hair to midway down his neck and vibrant purple eyes. I was still planning on asking him whether they were color contacts or not. "Hey Kira! Long time no see, eh?" I chirped. The Kira in question gave me a friendly hug, and of course Matsuda gave me an amazed 'Did you just say _Kira_?!' look. I returned with a reassuring smile. "Kira, this is my boyfriend Touta Matsuda. Matsuda, this is Eve's future husband Kira Yamato." They shook hands.

In an easy going tone, Kira remarked, "Don't worry. It's pretty hard walking around with the same name as a criminal." "Yeah, I bet!" Matsuda gave a nervous laugh.

This mindless polite talk went on for ten minutes that felt like forever until finally the bell rang. We were all expecting to see L's tired face on the other side of my door, but it wasn't him.

Instead was a young blond with bright happy eyes and a black lace tank top that was just a little _too_ low. The hairstyle was a dead giveaway as to the woman's identity. "Misa-misa! What are you doing here?" Matsuda piped incredulously. Eve and I shared equally baffled looks, and I was pretty sure we were both thinking the same thing.

_For someone like Creepy-Light-Man, she didn't really seem like his type._

"What do you mean?"Misa cooed. "I'm going shopping! This is, like, me and Light's first real date!!" Then, at long last, she realized that she wasn't in Matsuda's house and there were other people in his non-house. "Oh! So who are you three?" Eve and I traded 'You going first?' looks that then canceled each other out, and we just stood there tight-lipped. Kira saved us from a bout of painful silence.

"Uh...er...I'm Kira, that's my fiancée Eve, and she's Eve's colleague Sera..." I decided that that was the perfect moment to go grab my keys, while my boyfriend decided it was the perfect moment to grab my hand, and he ended up almost falling over about five times while I obliviously dragged him to my kitchen counter.

The rest was equally embarrassing, so I won't even bother describing it.

A few minutes later, we'd exited my apartment complex and were quite busy gaping at a large Rolls Royce-style limo. A curly white-haired kid stuck his head out of one of the windows. "You guys getting in, or what?" Matsuda nodded dumbly and we made our way to the sleek black vehicle.

Inside we discovered the white-haired kid from earlier, who Eve and I knew only as Near, and a slightly older boy with slightly curled blond hair just touching his shoulders who we knew to be Mello. He was chomping on a large dark chocolate bar, and I fought the urge to steal it. Watari was driving and L had taken shotgun.

Cheesy introductions were made, Mello and Near insisting that they went by Michael and Nathan. To my extreme dissatisfaction , I ended up sitting between Matsuda and Light. When the latter started in with "It's good to see you again Seraina-san", I wanted to ruin his children for no reason in particular.

Luckily for him, L shifted in his seat to face Eve and the rest of us. "So Eve...who's your friend?"

"Oh." She responded absentmindedly. "That's Kira. We're engaged."

"_WHAT_!!"

Awkward silence followed.

Finally the Kira in question chuckled nervously. "Not _that _Kira, of course. My name is Kira Yamato..." L's eyes stopped bulging out of his head after a while. "O-of course...There's absolutely no reason for me to suspect you, anyway..."

An offended thought suddenly entered my brain. It simmered until Watari parked the Limo in a huge underground parkade beneath the Ketsueki Kumori Mall, and when everyone had exited the vehicle, caused me to smack L upside the head.

Now, let me tell you something about smacking L: It just doesn't happen.

L's hand sprang up instinctively to rub the spot, Light and Misa let out over dramatic gasps of shock, Mello and Near pointed and laughed, Eve proceeded to start a slap-fight with me (To which no specific cause of attack can be attached), and Matsuda and Yamato sent each other telepathic messages asking "And we're infatuated with these two _why_?!"

Watari smiled his mummified smile, wondering why his parents named him Quillsh...

Eventually, L broke up the epic Slap Fest I was having with Eve and shook my shoulders profusely. It was quite irritating. "Why the _hell_ did you hit me?" L continued in his attempt to give me Shaken Baby Syndrome, so it was hard to reply.

"Why?" I almost screamed in defiance. "You want to know _why_? You, L, seem to be one of the only good people in the world, yet you go around in a stupid freaking Limo with absolutely ZERO fuel economy, and why's that? To flaunt the riches you've gained in all your detective work? This...peice of junk is probably releasing enough emissions to kill an entire city!!" L had finally let go by the last sentence and I emphasized my point by giving the front tire of the gas guzzler a good kick.

The car alarm blared. In bewildered panic, I fled to the elevator. Matsuda chased after me, also bewildered. Neither of us said anything as the elevator went up. I tapped my fingers to an elevator music version of 'Thriller'. When the steel door opened, I spotted a Tim Horton's straight down the hall and weaved my way through the busy crowds, then I bought us both Ice Capps.

We were sitting at a table and sipping blended coffee when Matsuda spoke up. "Can I ask you what that was all about?" I scooped up some whipped cream on my straw and then sucked it off. "But you just did. It's kind of late now, isn't it?" Matsuda grabbed the hand holding the straw. I gave him a pouty look.

"If you're gonna get all sentimental and cheesy and stuff, don't bother. I just care about the environment. And I was terribly bored."

My cellphone rang. It was L. I picked it up and announced. "We're at Timmy's." "Okay, we'll be right there." L explained quietly. "And by the way, the whole Limo thing wasn't my decision. I like it about as much as you do." "Sorry. I was bored."

In less than five minutes, the rest of the group arrived and we began to make our way around the shopping center. We created an imaginary music montage of doing crazy things in stores, followed by getting asked to leave them. We somehow convinced L to try on all those clothes we'd never seen him wear, like Tuxedos and hipster clothes and Gothic Lolita stuff and even a fancy dress. Eve even came up with the idea of putting a large amount of gold chains around Watari's neck, to which the old man made no resistance. I presumed he was now on the thought of the name Wammy. L came really close to actually buying them for him.

While in a collectibles store, Mello and Near bought a couple of toy light sabers and then proceeded to start and epic Jedi tournament in the area in front of said store. Mello won the first round. On the next one, I kicked Matsuda's ass. Just before his round, L ran and got a Darth Vader mask with a voice changer and defeated Light in a very melodramatic fashion that I couldn't have enjoyed more. We drew a huge crowd and the event went on for almost two hours. And who would've guessed it; Watari was the final victor!

Soon after, we came across a DDR Challenge going on in a large area of the third floor. At our demands, L reluctantly went up and tried. To our utter, unfathomable amazement, he got a perfect score, and even showed off by squeezing in some original moves. I was almost depressed to know that he had that much spare time.

All the dueling, dancing and running around had us hungry, so we landed at some fancy Japanese restaurant on the fourth floor and got seated in front of a giant panoramic window overlooking the beautiful scenery of the front parking lot.

Unfortunately, as soon as the nine of us started our meals, the window was depressingly shattered when a man in a brown leather trench coat rolled through it. He landed on the floor just before the far edge of the table. We looked up at him in awe.

The man had angry, piercing green eyes and blond hair that stuck out from his face in gravity-defying projections. Eve, L, and I recognized him immediately. "...John ..._Pritkin_?!" The three of us stammered.

Pritkin was a character from some of our favorite books: the Cassandra Palmer Series by Karen Chance, and now he was seething and glaring at us in extreme pissed-off-ed-ness. How he'd made it through the window, we would never know.

"Where's Cassie?! Where are you hiding her?" He shouted, more than one vein visible on his forehead. We were all too dumbstruck to answer.

"Tell me where she is!" A small dagger levitated its way out of his belt and floated around in a sinister fashion. "W-w-we don't know..." One of us finally blubbered.

"Don't lie to me, you vermin!! I assure you I will _not_ hesitate to kill you all." Again, we couldn't form a response to that.

"Where. Is. CASSIE!!" He roared, articulating every word. Light scrounged up that small bit of courage I didn't think he had. "We don't even know who Cassie_ is_!" Me, Eve, and L exchanged looks. "The three of us know her." L started hesitantly. "And we know _you_. You're fictional characters from a book." He ended this statement by falling out of his chair.

Pritkin took a chair randomly and, embarrassed, L jumped back into his. "But...so are you..." Pritkin brooded. Amazed conversation continued, revealing that Pritkin was a devout fan of the Death Note manga series, which just happened to have everything to do with everyone _except_ me, Eve, and her lover. Figures.

L was completely shocked but took it all in, and a strange detached look came about Light. He got up and announced his need to empty his bladder. I thanked him for letting us all know that important fact. Eve decided she had to go too.

I thought Creepy-Light-man had taken his time when he came back over five minutes later, but Eve had been gone for nearly fifteen. I was getting really worried when finally, she showed up. She was holding what looked like a college notebook.

Everyone took their turns asking her where the hell she'd been. Eve just laughed. "Well, I was walking out of the bathroom, when I found this on the floor near the Men's." She held up the notebook for us all to see.

DEATH NOTE, said the cover.

Light's eyes started flicking every which way, but I only paid about a second of my attention to him. The Note was too fascinating.

"But that's not all." Eve continued, reading our minds. "When I picked it up, I found something even more cool!" She slowly went around, allowing everyone to touch the mysterious notebook.

Mello and Near gasped. I noticed that no one else was too surprised by the thing standing beside Eve, so I contained my own shock. "Another shinigami..." L mused.

Eve nodded. "This is Ryuk. He's been explaining a lot of stuff to me." Ryuk chuckled an evil chuckle and grinned in Light's direction. No one bothered to check what direction that was in. "And he showed me this..."

Eve opened the cover. There was writing on the other side.

This notebook belongs to Light Yagami. If found please call 273-7373.

"_Light_..." L began accusingly. We all turned to give Light the 'Isn't that the Pizza 73 number?' look, but...

"He's gone!" I exclaimed. Yup, that's me. Captain Obvious.

Everyone was getting into a finicky panic when we heard a crash. We looked out the restaurant to see, in the distance, a toppled shopping cart and a red-headed collegiate rushing down the escalator. " He's going to escape, dammit!" I yelped, keeping up my reputation. Pritkin declared, "I'll stop the fiend!" and immediately leapt into action. That is, he leapt back through the previously panoramic window.

He did that awesome air-running thing before landing with a roll on the asphalt below just before Light burst through the front entrance, escaping to who-knows-where. The rest of us watched from our table in the restaurant as Pritkin tackled the criminal to the ground. Then, of its own accord, a pair of handcuffs captured Light's wrists. He screamed weird 'I will be god!!' chants(along with other things I won't repeat) and twisted and reeled and rolled around on the road.

It was, suffice to say, thoroughly entertaining.

Eve's fiancée eyed me and Matsuda. "Y'know. It would be a perfect cliché if we started making out..." Eve elbowed him in the ribs.

"I've had enough cliche's for the rest of my life!" I breathed. Then someone tapped my shoulder.

Oh...wait a second...Misa? What?...OH!! Er...let's see, what happened to poor undervalued Misa...hm. Let's just go with 'In a fuss about her lover's capture she leapt from the giant window and landed with a sickening splat'. Is that good? Good. Onward, my comrades!!

Getting back to the real story, someone tapped my shoulder. I spun around to meet a blond around my age, scantily clad in the regular Hooter's uniform. I recognized her as Cassie Palmer, the main character of Karen Chance's books.

"Hey, yeah...Have you seen my friend? Y'know, weed-whacker styled hair, trench coat, lots of weapons, permanent glare?" I nodded. "Pritkin? Yeah, he just jumped through that window twice. He's in the parking lot." I jabbed my thumb back at the window in the question.

"Thanks." Cassie replied. She hurried off-as much as one can in heels-to meet up with her slightly deranged partner.

Eve and I exchanged glances."...Whore."

What will happen in the next fic? Will the first paragraph have anything to do with the actual story? Will someone be brutally slaughtered by ferrets?

Find out the answers to these questions and more in the next fic: The Wedding That Never Was!


End file.
